i was a filial girl today, and went out with my mum to tampines mall to shop. my ma wanted to buy a pair of shoes from scolls or sth like that, cos its very comfortable. i wanted to cut my hair and buy some stuff for my trip, to be 'well prepared'. haha. i sound like i want to buy pads or sth like that. :)

we went to eat first, and i happened to see 2 dumanians. i was pretty suprised for whatever reason i don't know, and i juat stared at them incredously. and they were like, they caught my eye, but they pretended not to see. :) i'm must have appeared crazy to them. hell, they didn't even know i was from dunman too. :)

my mother then wanted to shop for her shoes and clothes, so i went to SPEED to cut my hair first. its only ten bucks, and its pretty good. i layered my hair a lot, and hell, the hairdresser was bloody professional. i love my new hairstyle. :)

when i was walking back to tampines mall, something really embarrassing happened. i shall not elaborate. :)

i bought loadful of things. :) yay.
waa! everyone forgot about me and my birthday!



i apparently don't! cry cry. everyone has forgotten to give me my birthday present, although my birthday is still a far eight days away. boohoo. having a birthday in holidays sucks! haha. but i am spending my day in malaysia then!

up till date, i have only received one present! waa! this had better be an alarm to wakey wakey you guys! my birthday is coming!

okay i'll digress.

i read jiahui's blog, and she said that blogging is say, just a front where you blog, and try to please people. i find some truth in that, but that doesn't apply to me.

say, for example, in my last entry, i talked about how i felt about my juniors. maybe, if me blog spreads to them and they read it, they might hate me. but it is truly how i feel, and just, yeah, i hope they understand. though that, i'm truly happy that they are so enthu about st john, far more enthu than i had been when i first came in. it just helps in building up their morale. i have a feeling, they are going to be a great squad. :) jiayou guys.

and also, many people talk about how they feel truly too. like xiaxue, like everyone. of course there are exceptions where people are just trying to please people, but i think those are of the minority.

digresssing again.

i haven packed my clothes and stuff for my trip to malaysia yet! oh no. i am going out today, and tomorrow! yay! possibly to buy some new clothes and stuff. sitting in the bus for 8 hours sure aint fun, so possibly i got my cushion to accompany me.

i am missing someone. and i'm glad for the times we hung out together. boy, how i miss you.

:)



what are my juniors like?

they are grealt ambitious. they, at the young and tender age of 13, already aspires to get into the comp team. please loh, they haven't even got past the intra comp, which is a rough gage of their capability, and they are already thinking so far. they have so much ahead of them. when i was a fresh cadet in st john, i was just being myself, not even thinking about anything like representing the school in competitions. now, the sec 1s are trying to as if potray the best image of themselves so that they can at least be selected for the competition.

bah. i am getting irritated, but i am glad they are so enthu about sj. keep it up!

anonymous taggers! hate taggers! fuck, they are everywhere. another one on biyu's blog. what on hell are these people thinking?

many words nowadays are just plain misused. badly misused, i should say.bitch, prostitute, slut, all those.

i am going back to malaysia on thursday! my hols got pushed back because of st john. haha.

my squad had early morning footdrill today at 5 plus am. sleepy and pretty tired, but our morale was HIGH. haha. i was the female ic together with shunjie. luckily today dun even need reporting. haha. we were running around the parade square, and cheering softly at first. we did 4 bx [or whatever], each 30 times. i loved it can. i din even feel tired except for the sit up part which i really suck in. lata we were allowed to cheer loudly yay! then we cheered loudly.. really happy tt we were so motivated. then we did a std 2 whoosh.

i just love you guys so much.

na na nah! today was pre camp prep. so basically just arrange classroom and all the rest. yup.

then..

went to expo with a pig named tiffany! haha. wa, that place so hell big loh, we sorta got lost. didn't eat much, just laughed and laughed. we bought satay from city satay! bought 10 sticks each and ate and ate. haha. then we walked around looking for drinks, couldn't find any nice ones! hmmph. so in the end bought from mr bean, the very pearly soyabean. their pearl is wierd. some nice sweet and soft, some hard and bitter. pukey pukey.:) then, still not enough, bought cake! my cake was much much nicer than tiffnys! haha.

then no place to eat, so we just stood at this table thingy and ate. tiffny first slipped the satay gravy on her blouse, so bloody stupid! haha. :) we got no tissue also, so i just tore off the clean wrapper of the satay package and cleaned it off. then i spilled it on myself! bad bad. then tiffny spilled soyabean on her while trying desperately to shake the cluster of pearls off. haha. clumsy pig.

then we sat down at the hall and jeff wang and michelle liow was there, hosting an activity or game.




they went down to speak to the audience, and they were so close to us! omg! haha. about 3 metres only! ahh!

we were so enthu during the game! haha. got one player, play scissors paper stone, then knocked his glasses off. dumb. haha. me and tiffany laughed our asses off! haha. so funny. we were eating cake! my cake got choco flakes, nicer than tiffnys! yay!

just had a gr8t time. lovvya tiff. :)

haha. looking forward to camp. :) hope the city hunt thingy is nice. ah-ha. :) alpha rocks.




damn, i am not a prostitute. i am not.i wasn't angry at first, but when i read this, i just flared. i am not a prostitute. scold me whatever you want, i am NOT a prostitute.

To offer (oneself or another) for sexual hire.
To sell (oneself or one's talent, for example) for an unworthy purpose.

do i seem as any of the above? i don't, as much wrong as i have done. do you know how strong that fuck word is? sorry for the vulgarities. i am pissed. imagine someone calling you a prostitute. if you have been in front of me, i could have just slapped ur face.

back to the point.i am not seeking popularity. i am not, again. what makes you think so? i could have thought up a list of things i want to do if i wanted to have popularity.

1. i would have fucking short skirts, like a mini, and super tight clothes. show off my figure, though i have none, eh? * roll eyes *

2. i would have everything branded. roxy, billabong, levis, op, ripcurl. i would have bags, watches, earrings, colthes, shoes, pencil boxes, waterbottles. everything branded! branded to show off how fucking rich i am. to show off how fucking fashionable i am. maybe i'll have this permanent tatoo on my forehead, announcing to the whole world my name and that i am fucking rich and popular.

3. i would own an ultra expensive pair of shoes. addidas! 60 bucks! leather! shiny star! but hey, why am i wearing a pair of shoes costing 20 bucks?

4. i would have applied all the cosmetics under the bloody sun. eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, concealer, blush, gloss, lipstick. name it, i have put a whole lot of it on my face. chio, what. aint it? so chio, eye big big, face rosy rosy, pimples and acne gone. fucking heaven.

i can't think of what i have done to making you so fucking pissed, cos now i am pissed too. fancy calling me a prostitute, out of all the fucking words in the dictionary. i mean, if you think saying all these will affect me greatly and make me feel miserable, make me feel depressed and sad, and run off to my dear comforting pillow and sob there?

NO.

truth is, all these make YOU feel miserable. do you feel good calling people a prostitute? i've never insulted a person like that in my WHOLE ENTIRE BLOODY LIFE. did you do it on impulse, or did you really mean it? anyhow, i just want you to know, much as this hurts me becos i know who you are, i am not affected. i know people dislike me. i can't please everyone. i just can't. people either love me or hate me. you belong to the latter, i believe. i have looked and reflected, and i am not, in any sense, like a prostitute, or behaving in a manner that i want to have popularity. ask around, people DON'T know who i am. i just can't accept you calling me a prostitute. i am fucking fucking pissed. bitch, bimbo, slut, can. prostitute, hello woman, insulting, and CANNOT.

sorry for the incessant fucks in this post. i am just pissed. very pissed. i am sorry.
i went blog surfing today, and realised, some bloggers can be really really zi lian. not as in kidding kidding type, but real type. haha. it is amazing. even if that person is not attractive, her confidence is overwhelming. cool. :)

i am going to make my own slippers! maybe i'll have a jie mei one with tiffany. haha. its really cool! haha. and its so low expense. i am so going to do it and wear it for the whole world to see! :)

i am so excited over the idea! i am going to make my own slippers! yay! with just cloth, ribbon and tape! haha.

i am going to go for a HUGE shopping spree in june! is pig trotters going with me? haha. we are going to hereen! ripcurl, roxy and all the cool places! :) haha. i am going to shop like siao when i go there.

i am going to eat my dinner now! tata.

lalala. i am in a good mood. i am going to doing acrylic painting later.




finally had an end to the days of training and stressing myself out! haha. yesterday i was completely zonked out after coming back, so i din bother to blog. alpha won first in both nurses and ambulances section! but of course the ambulances section was combined with bravo. i was really happy. haha.

homenursing was pretty smooth although we only managed to really complete dressing simple. haha. first aid i was no 5 so i just stood and watched. haha. some dumb mistakes here and there, it was quite a flop though. footdrill was okay, thought the timing was too fast, and the kebaklang was like, omg, so fast. haha.

after training went to discuss alpha leisure camp stuff with kristian and xiao wen they all. yahui and man ching are going to have a duet! you knoe the song 'lonely'? so cute right~! and they look absolutely cool together. haha.

after discussion went to kallang kfc to have dinner together with tiffany, adelyn hongsheng and shunjie. it was pretty boring at first cos we didn't talk much, but then something happened.

we started LAUGHING. it was so stupid can. i accidentally knocked my tray over, and my fries spilled on me. haha. luckily my drink was still on the table. then i was screaming and laughing, and tiffny too. then everyone just started laughing, and thats when the thing started. we started saying funny stuff, and just laughed and laughed. one thing led to another, and like, we were still laughing [with no stops in between] at the end of like, 15 minutes. haha.

then shunjie said really funny. cos we were really laughing too much till our stomachs felt taut and painful, he said " at the rate we'll have abs like man ching" its damn FUNNY! hahahahahahaha. man ching has 6 pack leh. haha.

i just love my squad. no wonder i never thought of going for ip progammes. :) the time we spent together. my god.

**********

yeah. come to think of it, my blog is posted on WWW. so i have no reason to complain. but it was really mean of them la. :) aniwae i'm quite over that already. so, yeah.

did i mature?

i think i did, at least a little. thats what happens to everyone right? i remember when i was young and dumb, i wrote insulting letters about people. know i realise how dumb and stupid it can get, crying, hiding in toilets and living in darkness and fear. aint it dumb?

everyone matures, just by how much. somehow, i think my bunch of friends are pretty mature, except for dumb june la. :) maybe due to fandi's influence? haha. but we never had any serious quarrels, dao each other and hate each other. our friendship is pretty simple and basic, and i think that is the basic reason why we don't fall out.

what are friends supposed to do? laugh with you, cry with you. thats what i think. i have some great friends, i think. really great. :)

i just love you guys.

thanks everyone for tagging.. your wonderful lil cat fight. haha. you guys are so cute.

woo hoo. i just watched project slim on the tv.my god, i suddenly feeling like rushing off to the gym to have an ultra flat tummy. it looks nice. :)

look! my god. :)



see? looks nice? probably needs some tough hours at the gym. haha. i'm ready to work it out man. haha. i'm quite slim, though my tummy is not flat. its.. just tummyish. haha. going to the gym at my age? haha. but i need to burn off some fats. haha. wahaha. :)

i bought a mad bunch of hairtyers today. haha. thought of buying a wallet, but gave up the idea. i am absolutely indigent. sob.

history exam was so mad. i was writing impetuously, trying to finish on time. i was scribbling. my words were almost indecipherable. haha. i didn't even anwser q2 of section c properly! i am going to fail. home econs, don't even talk about it. i did not even understand half the questions.

after the exams stayed behind for the youth day dance thingy. total havoc. the guys were NOT cooperative at all. and the audition's tomorrow! oh no. i am not going for the audition, i have sj training. hope we get in. :) keep my fingers crossed.

i am so stressed by the fact that my exams have just ended. never mind that, i am having intra comp on sat. total hell. i have to memorise nurse 2 stuff! irritating. luckily for me i'm not doing first aid. lala. :) it saves me from all the hell of learning the skull fracture and the penetrating chest wound thingy. okay, probably the bulk of you would not understand what i am talking about. but never mind, its just some complicated crap. one thing leads to another. i'm rather happy with my role in comp team. haha. cos first aid i only have to do cpr. which rocks! haha. doing cpr is better as compared to other injuries.

hope alpha does well. i'm freaking scared of home nursing, in which me and yahui are specialising in bed bathe! cannot la. i can't even remember anything.

my bros badgering me again. hes absolutely unreasonable. he hogs the com every night, and tonight when i've taken a night off, blogging and stuff, he comes along and whines about his project work report not being accepted, that it is URGENT and needs to use to computer IMMEDIATELY.

fuck.

i shall hog the com all night on friday cos i have tuition tml. i shall sit there and stare at the screen till it pleases me. hmmph. it is so culpable!

fuck.
today some of my great friends did a ultra great job of announcing my blog to the whole class. i couldn't have done better. they were great. asking my music teacher to read out a whole chunk of writing from my blog to jibe me.

in case you haven't noticed the sarcasm in my writing, now you have.

baldly, i was fcuking pissed. be glad that i wasn't flouncing when i walked back to class. sure, it looked like it was nothing much, but it was. you don't expect me to run around the class, throwing confetti in the air and celebrating the fact that i just humiliated myself.

let me clarify some things. when i wrote that, i was seriously, really feeling that way. if you don't believe it, don't bother reading my blog because i'll be lying everywhere else.

and god, this blog is PERSONAL. i write what i think, and i am honest. this blog is not a tool i use to kiss-ass and please people.

i even considered placing a lock. but hey, it seems a little too much. but seriously, respect. if you don't respect this blog, you don't have to read it.

its just like you are watching a concert. like it or not, you are showing basic respect for keeping quiet during the show. fine if you insult it silently in your mind, but you don't throw eggs. you don't shout and use people to try to amplify your words. at least appreciate that they have put an effort to perform, and in this case that i have put in an effort to blog. when i blog i don't take into consideration what your reactions would beto whatever i write.

its pretty basic here.

i want some respect.
Jason was probably one of the hottest topic amongst those who are besotted with him. thus, i was pretty interested to find out more cos i din take any notice of him at all. so hey, i went to gary's friendster and looked under his friends. found jason, and found hes fucking hot. oh course i won't make a ballyhoo out of him like some do, but i am just going to post up some pics and poof, move on and forget about him. kah hui, you one lucky girl. you were the one who spured my interest. haha. now some eye candy. i only uploaded one pic, cos it was the best pic and i didn't want to flood my blog. perhaps if you guys want more, you guys can say in tag ok? haha.

ta-da!



cute nia? haha. i went to his blog too, and my god, i can't stand some of the blarney some taggers are giving. bootlickers. suck ups.

haha. moving on.

had my 2.4 km run yesterday. i still can't believe the school wasted 1000 plus for the transportation fees. they seem as if they have too much to spend, even though i think they seem as if they were pennyless.

anyway, i did pretty well. no 44. haha. i was at the back when the run started, and ended up being pretty in front after the whole thing. somehow, the run didn't seem exhausting at all, i was just running and running. i wasn't even tired! haha. at some points of course i felt tired, but i just pushed myself on. everyone i passed was already gasping through their mouth when i was still breathing through my nose. last part of the run i just chiong and finished it. it was really quite an effort. and my god, when i sat down, my entire body was throbbing. haha.

i think the credit for my run should go to st john. i never knew the pt could be of help. physical training had really toughened me up, and my physical capability has expanded greatly. all those days we ran around the school many many rounds, carrying logs, water bottles and stretchers, cheering despite being tired.. has finally paid off. nothing can ever describe the love i feel for my squad.

walked with my class back to school, jerome was being lame. haha. back in school, i saw nc1 training. sir chee hoe was there and maam shenglian too. i was half blind without my specs, and couldn't make out who they were at first. haha. in fact, i was blind the whole day at school. my specs broke, and i didn't have enough time to get contacts. some said i looked better, some said i looked better with specs. haha.

youth day dance is dumb. i was one of the 16 voted to go onstage, with 8 girls and 8 boys. we were paired and i was initally with jerome, who i couldn't have bemoaned about. but, yann chyng was paired with jia jin, and yann chyng din want to pair with him, and jiajin wanted to dance with me. bloody hell. its damn awkward after the things that happened, and i am so not going to dance if i'm going to have to do it with jiajin. sorry about the fuss. :)

after training, i went home with the bunch of girls form my sq. all of us took 30, and pactically brought the house down. we were making loud noises, talking and stuff. haha. i went with tiffany to buy bubble tea at bedok and she went with me to buy sushi. bought 9 in total! haha. cost about 6 bucks.

i went to school with gary today, breaking his never-in-school-later-than-6-40 record. haha. cheryl was sick today, and so i decided to take 12. asked gary which flight he took, and he offered to wait for me. nice gary. haha. so we went to school together, chatting on the bus and stuff. haha. it was nice of him. and i hope cheryl gets better. so many people are getting sick.

gotta go. tata.
had my health check today.

was pretty apphrensive about it at first, cos heard that we had to romove our shirts. initally i thought the nurses was going to check how big our boobs were. haha. :) i so perverse. but no, it was only for the spinal checking. i have no problem! yay. we were asked stuff like whether we smoke, our friends smoke, and whether i had my menses already. haha.

```

i have absolutely no idea why xiaowei tries to put up such a sexy and pretty front. fine, fact that every girl wants to look good and appealing, but she's overdoing it. anyone can see.

most scary, she looks at me as if she admires me. oh my bloody god. everytime i look elsewhere, i can just sense and see, out of the corner of my eye, she looking at me. arrgh.

```

i went to my friendster account today, and realised that almost 100 people looked at my profile within a short 11 days. SCARY. thats almost the highest yet. :) but well, if they were attracted but the friendster pic, thats so wrong cos i dunno why, the neoprint machine just automatically photoshops your face. haha.

i have a hate tagger! haha. he said i suck. like, who cares? why does he even bother? and worse part is, he spams. -.- why does he even bother? since he hates me so much, why waste his precious muscles to press on the keyboard keys? i just don't figure these people.

```
yay! i finally made that thing come back! see the diff? yeah. haha. the culprit behind this fretting? that dumbo neoprint! haha. it was too big and was covering the space needed for the sidebar. yay! i'm so happy i decided to update. haha.

okay i'll digress.

i'll try to shift everything from my previous blog to here soon, but i can't garauntee. :) hafta wait. patience is a virtue. :)

in case you don't know [ since i made it so obvious ], i want to dyp my hair purple! as in dark dark purple, so purple it'll probably look like black yeah. :) i've seen a girl with that hair before, and its cool.

its so mystique and nice! wahaha. give me some mascara, eyeliner, a tube, miniskirt and high heels, i'll be walking out a prostitute, just not so well endowed. haha. :)


this is so damn irritating. tried to change to a simple blog, and scroll all the way to the bottom. look! irritating. it should be just beside this post, but god knows why is went all the way down there.

whats this? arrgh. i am so irritated. i am so irritated. :( i hate blogging.

my blog shall be on hiatus from now till i feel like blogging. don't bother to remove the maggots.
i'm just too lazy to blog about my camp. rah.

pammie keep complaining to her darliing thaddeus that i bullied her and stuff. it was nothing! and boohoo thaddeus scolded me! :( haha. dumbo pammie.

had a great time in camp.. i loved it and it was the camp i enjoyed the most.. made loads of new friends.. mainly wendy and tzelin.. they were great..we had loads of fun together talking and gossiping. haha.

i love tzelin! i love wendy! i love pamela! i love javier!

i dunno if javier is spelt 'javier' but i think so.

there's 7 guys in our grp, so hes always the one who gets left out. i mean, why? wendy tzelin me and pammie talked to him and we think hes cute like a bunny. haha. but really cute. as in personality cute. :)

all my clothes stink like garbage. from the soil, blah blah. and the mud mud.

the campfire was really great. like, it was emotional for me. i think section c put up the best performance. not because i'm in section c, but i think our performance was the loudest and the most united. :) i love section c!!

then when papa glenn did the music evaluation.. and the music was those thought provoking ones..

and i was thinking about my great friends in the grp.. how we knew each other.. how we spent time together and ho we conquered and enjoyed all the stuff together.. my dear instructor dawn.. marvin.. andrew..

and i cried. :) it was just wonderful. just wonderful. i was so high, i lost myself. i was screaming and dancing. :')

it was wonderful. the memories will stay with me forever -

WHATS SO pretty about me? i want to scream. SCREAM. this bunch of people are driving me crazy. CRAZY. shadn't elaborate.

and you -. god. god.

you think you are so pretty eh? so sexy? so lovable?

come on. pull our head out of your fantasy for a moment and you'd find you are much less attractive than the people around you. face reality. go seek for your true self.

*********




i had such a great day today! whee.

supposedly squad outing became 5 people outing. haha. thats me, tiffany the bimbo, yujia, shunjie and ang mian.

first stop was this fashion, for me and yu jia to buy trackpants;

second stop was pink-q to buy tiffny's lil piggie, but it was outta stock. aw. :(

third stop; pretty in tokoyo

we took one as 5 people, the machine damn wierd la. still got trial run one. like so diaoded. haha. the pics came out okay, shunjie was a lil outta place, but still,it was a gr8t one.

second one took with the same machine but this time took with my darliing tiffny. we did kissing scenes. :) haha. came out nice, shall post it up once its scanned cos i don't have a scanner! :(

4th stop; ice lemon tee

bought this cute hapy house piggy ear stud. so cute! cos 6.9 loh. dman ex. but got 20% discount so its better. woohoo. its a newly opened shop. but it looks rather small now. i just love my new earrings.

5th stop; foodcourt

i was totally broke cos we bought movie tix. so i had no money to buy lunch, shared with tiffny. :) the food tasted nice!

6th stop; cinema!

we're watching the pacifier!!! haha. the movie was so damn nice la. the shows touching. okay, upload the neox le.

here it is.













tata. gonna go camp.









god. i'm dying. save me.

i don't know how to do the science thingy! the bio thingy! what describe the appliation of genetic engineering in the pharmaceutical field.

???

what is what?

oh no. i've got to hand it in tml and i have no idea what it is.

dieed.

yay~! tml got squad outing! going to bugis! bah.

i'm loving it. :)

my birthday is coming soon! i mean, sort of. haha.

here is a list of what i need to be a happy birthday girl. in order of importance. meaning i want no 1 most. please please please.

1. pink mogu cushion
- you know, the ultra beany type thats damn comfortable. i want to orginial one! the expensive one! haha. i don't want to one with eyes and stuff. i want a plain pink one, prefably star [most wanted] or heart shaped. anything thats bigger is also welcome. :) heres a few pics of what i want. the flower shaped one is if there none of the stars or the hearts.





2. roxy wallet
-i know i keep changing wallets, but i would really like a nice roxy wallet. roxy is so far i don't feel like travelling there myself.

3. an nice op or billabong mini skirt
- i'm quite sure you won't choose the latter cos it costs 60 bucks. :) op would do anyway. haha. pink! everything pink. :) purple can also. yay. i have size 25-26 waist. satin skirts are nice.

4. sling bag
-i want a nice pink sling bag! or black or whatever! just a nice one. leather ones are most welcome. :)

5. pink visor


this one must be pink, lah. or black also can. haha. i like the ones with, stripes. can be found at ice lemon tee. :)

6. puremilk tee shirt
- i just love the shirts.

7. love psychedelico cd
i saw the ad on tv, and the lead singer, kumi, had a really lovely voice. buy me please!



ok, i know you're crying liao. everything i want is so expensive! but i dun mind if ppl share and buy for me yeah? i dun really need anything else.