was organising my memorabilia drawer last night & i actually took a lot of photos but haha very lazy to post everything up so only some stuff here:

my super duper cute cousin i love her! <3
when she was older:


primary six class! i think i still can name everyone haha. see the black paper in the shape of a cape underneath the face of the boy in the banner that says 'HORROR'? that's mine! i think i wrote a poem about Frankenstein's monster haha.

and now..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
MY BABY PHOTOS EXPOSED!


this is my cutest cutest photo of myself okay i cannot be wrong one EVERYBODY SAYS SO. a bit fat here and there.. BUT WHO CARES.


close-up! i was um sticking my tongue out hahaha like this :p siao i baby alr know how to pose in photos leh!


this one also damn cute haha i look so cheesy.


me & my brother! if you think my brother is cute well i tell you he WAS cute but now.. no. no. no. very different. lol god i look so grumpy here. BLAH.

okay finish maybe another day shall post up my slightly older toddler photos also v cute! WHOO.
i realised i have like super a lot of postcards (besides those frm others) that were crazily written by myself. did a count, and ended up with a total count of 120! am i fantastic or what.


okay blogging mood over. ): ZAIJIAN EVERYONE.

fucking rob the only memories i have.
now you know why?

got a post all planned out but can't get to doing it till i get home; maybe tonight.

watched bowling for columbine just now in the LT, and it's really disturbing to know that somewhere in another part of the world, some kid just like us's shooting the head of another teenager off.

on an entirely random note, i think i am going to get the trolley bags everyone else (at least in other schools)uses for bowling. the hand-carry sort is simply too heavy! & means i have to carry that to school every tuesday THAT SUCKS?!

really don't know if i'd get into the first team for bowling. i know i want to get in but i know if i get in means i have to work twice as hard and there's no way i can bloody practice anything at home so i have to go down to the bowling alleys to train and what if i let my team mates down if i keep having gutter balls?

i am going to fail thurday's econs test. really.

i hope it makes you happy, then.
damn tired my legs are going to break. walked from like 3-9? T.T okay but at least accomplished at lot (: SHOPPING AGAIN TMR WTHH but cannot resist! i can like study econs in the night then haha.

my room is seriously in a mess. books/files/clothes/hairtyes/bags etc etc etc all over the place and my wardrobe's a wild stash of wrinkled clothes! ): SIGH if only my room had like auto-cleaning system! & I WANT TO HAVE A WALK-IN WARDROBE LOR sian i'd make sure i have that next time.

i think singapore should have those travellators ALL OVER! like really everywhere anywhere so when we're tired we can just travel using those. aiyah haha i'm really just dreaming.

okay i think i'm like 75% sure i want to be a wedding planner. dang. one year later i won't be saying this. no lor i will stick to this ambition FOR-EVER. (fingers crossed) ya la i think it's like more important that i find a job i have a passion for right? assumption here is that my husband is damn rich so i can still have everything i want!!

okay switch to emo mode.

how can we find answers to questions that can't be explained?

haha aiyah haha not much emo material to work with today. tiring enough being lit students okay i think we must like have an essential (and maybe even healthy) dose of emo-ness so we can analyse things with more depth and insight.

that's all for today, and i do realise i have been blogging extremely often. definition of often being: everyday.
is that a good thing?

& told you all that we could be?
re-thought about me wanting to be a wedding planner today. guess i really might have the passion for it, but the once wonderful ideals i had about love's so destroyed i don't know if i can ever have the same sort of passion back again.

on another note career day was good, lt3's arts fac talks were generally good. for media broadcasting had the girls from channel newsasia come down, included valerie tan, a reporter. really pretty and articulate. that was probably the best talk alrdy. was pretty much looking forward to the arts management talk by MICA but turned out to be a huge disappointment, the scope wasn't really what i wantd to know. the guy was like weird, not very sane and a little eccentric. hahaha he's so ridiculous he's funny though.

lt-hopped to lt 2 for the tourism talk, the lt was so full people were sitting on the stairs! the guy was actually quite funny sometimes but i knw i won't end up in the tourism industry anyway. went back to lt 3 in time to see alvin pang talk about his rather sad experience about being a singaporean writer but never once invited to singapore writers' festival. -.- doesn't make sense at all pls. singapore writers' festival and one of singapore's better writers/poets not being invited? so much for trying to develop the arts sector huh ha ha.

rounded up the talk with a malay lady from montessori. admiration for her! seems like she's a really good mother & tcher all in one. going to send my kid to montessori to next time! <3

random note: don't know why i might want to mention this but that day out spent with fandi and jerome was good, we should have talks like these more often (x 2E wan sui!

wedding planner wedding planner? AHH I DONT KNOW! :x

这一次
就和你一样
不想想太多
school takes the hell out of me.

TUITION AFT SCH WTF.
hate how heaven plays all of us around his little finger, like it doesn't matter, like we'd get through it eventually anyway.

how could all this happen to all of us now? not when we don't need all this to plague our life and make us so.. helpless? it just doesn't make sense. i know how a tight slap's needed when we're far too indulgent in our sadness & things we shouldn't be concerned about, but who can ever detach themselves from everything around them & forever stay constant & indifferent? that i can't do, that we can't make it.

i feel so.. fed up now. it's as if the things we once believed in, whether naively or not, have all proved us wrong in a snap of a finger. how cld life be so cruel? why let us experience things like these, when we're only seventeen? we still have such a long way to go.

it takes courage, girls & boys. & we all have it. so we'd make it, whether together or not, and time will heal.

time will heal.

断了, 现在怎么办
i am super scared for tmr's math test what if i still fail? then i can't sleep tonight. too many things to think about.

another poem we did in class today - He wishes his beloved was dead.

kay don't feel like blogging. another day. shoulder bruised cause of the dumb bowling bag right arm aching & tail of spine hurts cause of the stupid sit ups we did on the grandstand. so much for not slacking huh. -.- hate mass pe.

we all should have like, selective memory. makes it easier for so many of us.
Real friends see the tears before they fall from your eyes.
girl i will pray for you (: jiayou. we can do it!

): dinner was good, laughed a lot but generally today..

super disappointed. didn''t perform at all today (and i mean it), and 1/2 of my balls were gutters, which definetely shouldn't be the case. perhaps it was the unfamiliarity with the new ball, or maybe it was because i simply cldn't concentrate. )): it's like everybody is improving and i'm the only one that's not. so disappointed with myself! can't even get the alignment right, and can't make the ball hook anymore. didn't even get any strikes/spares except one.

how i can't let this go on i am damn lousy and competition is end-april?!

kay i won't even get into comp team.
okay i just took a pair of pilers and tried to kiap my earring backing off but i ended up kiaping my ear instead OWWWW~ okay but i'm very brave can? in the end i did it right.

analysed a poem from poems deep & dangerous today - Snapshotland. at first glance it really didn't mean much, but aft discussion it seemed so diffrnt!

Snapshotland, by Sylvia Kantaris

In Snapshotland everyone is happy all the time.
It is the promised land where people sit with flasks of tea
on smooth sand by a flat sea and smile and smile and smile.

The sun shines all day long and every day in Kodachrome
or sepia on sandboys and sandgirls who never
top smiling from the time they first appear, with buckets,
in crisp, gingham pinafores and bonnets on the sea-shore.

Lovers stay in love forever; married couples never
grow tired of each other; everything is always just right.
The dolphins know exactly when to leap into the air
and stay there for the permanent delight of passengers
aboard the pleasure-boat which never passes out of sight.

Nobody in Snapshotland grows old unless they want to,
judging by the way they go on smiling so, in deck-chairs,
on the beach, or in old-fashioned gardens with lavender
and grandchildren here and there - and no one dies, ever.

Even if they don't appear later, the people are still
always there, smiling through the lavender and dolphins
and the buckets full of pebbles on the same sea-shore.

funny how when we get all envious of someone when they seem so happy & contented? sometimes if we just manage to step out from ourselves we see how hard we all try to recover what we've lost, bc we thought we cld get back what we once had, and how stupid all that seems to be.

yet how far can memories take you?
i can see how we're all trying, but i'd wear that till one day it means nothing more.

my stapler is feeling very sad now cause its seperated from her lover: quanyi's stapler HAHAHA. my stapler and his stapler dating! our correction fluid also dating. our phones also dating. my phone so chio damn hot property hahahaha. we're like, er. IN-LAWS ya ya ya.

& shunjie made me mention this (cause he gets high from seeing his name on my blog WAH): that day jerome and shunjie dug all my archives to find whose name was mentioned more times. -.- i flat out deny that i was the one who blogged my archives from 2004-2006 thank you.

HAPPY NOW SHUNJIE?

AND JEROME I HATE YOU YOU KNOW WHY HOR

& i have to bring my damn heavy ball to sch tmr wthhhhhh this world sucks!

Sorry - Buckcherry

Oh I, Had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things werent the same
Cause everything inside, it never comes out right
and when i see you cry, it makes me wanna die

Im sorry im bad, im sorry im blue
im sorry about all the things i said to you
and i know i cant take it back

I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
and i just wanted to say, Im sorry

This time, i think im to blame
Its harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
Cause everything inside, it never comes out right
and when i see you cry, It makes me wanna die

Im sorry im bad, im sorry im blue
im sorry about all the things i said to you
and i know i cant take it back

I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
and i just wanted to say, Im sorry

Every single day i think about how we came all this way
the sleepless nights and the tears you cried
Its never to late to make it right, oh yeah

Im sorry im bad, im sorry im blue
im sorry about all the things i said to you
and i know i cant take it back

I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
and i just wanted to say, Im sorry

Im sorry

okay i'm very sad now cause i just examined my phone and found a million and one scratch marks on it. yesterday was like record breaking? i dropped it arnd 4/5 times.

jerome tried cooking prata ytd and totally fail please haha i didn't even dare to eat it it's GREEN. huanjun is like super nice he help jerome do all his work cause "he was free"? left halfway watching blood diamond it's super disturbing can.

kay lah don't really feel like blogging got that down in the dumps feeling. who can treat me ice-cream.
jerome cant cook: his prata is green!

damn disgusting right yeah i know.
thanks everyone! said:
don't need what can just have abit of mindless fun
&HER 24/7 said:
nope
thanks everyone! said:
lol who doesn't like fun
&HER 24/7 said:
sry la my principles a bit different from you
thanks everyone! said:
why leh
thanks everyone! said:
principles.. can change a little ma

you tell me wtf is this person thinking. -.-

okay on to othr stuff!

came home late last night so didn't update there and then. yesterday morning was damn hectic haha s'pposed to join wendy's easter party but didn't in the end, then deliberated to go jerome's hse but decided to go home first, and being the lazybum that i am in the end i didn't go and ended up being late to meet the others at marina. -.-

thaddeus was wearing contacts (noob pls)! & HE THINKS HIS EYES ARE BIGGER THAN MINE okay everyone let's laugh together. but in the end tiffny said smth like "aiyah mine biggest la" thn we got nth to say alr ha super funny.

rule#1 IS GOOD. haha i think (?) i'm quite brave can i use nothing to block my eyes when the scary parts came at most i scream and close my eyes only & i didn't miss any of the ghosts at all! kow had his bigass puma bag as shield, tiffny had her pathetic bag of twisities and thaddeus used his hands. HIAK i am brave right?! thaddeus & kow obviously damn freaked during the movie, then after it ended they kept saying "actly it's not scary lor" then i was like -.- YAH RIGHT then they all decided ON LAH! we're gonna watch shutter together. -.-

JOEL IS A WIMP he met us only after the movie to go stayover at kow's house. and then on the mrt he asked the stupidest question ever (what's a tampon) and he thought it's A DISH PLEASE haha. thaddeus ask him go restaurant and ask for "a plate of tampons" hahaha we kept laughing.

okay i think i'm very high now i need to calm down and go out to study! soon.

tata
okay i conclude either my thumb is too fat or the drilling sucks, because my thumb hurts like crazy every time i release my ball frm my hands. -.- have to buy that skin regrowing thing soon. and ytd when i playd with my ball i got the worst overall score ever - 67 or smth. 6 out of 10 guttter balls ): can i change to conventional drilling SIGH.

okay got tamp safra's lanes felt super weird and weird and weird so shall see how i play next tuesday.

migraine this morning how fantastic. had to quite literally drag myself out of bed.

okay but at least tmr will be better! have to go for tuition again in the morning though sian or sian. and i am very very poor now i need my pay soon. haha.

the best is worth waiting for. (:
got my ball today. shall give it a name soon. can't play with it totally all gutter balls and sort of injured my finger cause the hole's super shallow some tip drilling zzz now i can't really bend it properly

and i'm aching all over

w migraine too ): getting dysfunctional now huh
short post here 'cause i've got loads to do

okay so anyway bowling today - FANTASTIC. was not really in the mood for bowling at the start but gradually it got much better (: we tried a new 3-step approach and that was srsly hard to master but once you've got it right you feel like you're bowling like a pro.

then i decided to try to see if i cld spin & curl the ball cause all along i can't really do it can only hook slightly. & I DID IT :D although my ball always tend to overcurl i'm sure with practice it wld be better & i'd have a really nice spin.

although had to strikes today at all i was super satisfied with my performance (: not much gutter balls.

getting my ball tmr EXCITEDDD.
hopped down to safra just now to take a look at my potential ball haha. DAMN HEAVY OMG. then safra was holding their weekly monday foursome league.. the bowlers were all damn good.

now kind of regret i got it frm there. sld have went to leisure park to get the ball instead more choices. (: hope my ball has a lot a lot of gold & red! :D sld be getting my ball by next week.

happy there's bowling tmr. finally got smth i can concentrate on. you knw the look of sheer determination you have when you hold the ball in your hands, and all you can see is the pins and yr own lane, the knowledge that within that 4 steps you take to the foul line you either give it your all or nothing.. that kind of feeling? damn awesome. it's even better when you strike i swear.

i like looking at people bowl too. (:
Zonals '08 @ DHS



BAH! my sexy slippers and adelyn's smelly shoes :D




i very happy to see my hair having at least a little hint of brown. my first french braid/plait too, credits to qingyi & adelyn. first one the inner braid done by adelyn second outer braid done by qingyi. haha qy lousy i still have to help her hold my hair one.

waiting for home nursing to wrap up for prize presentation!

okay and then boredom takes over:




okay at least this's normal haha. slightly.

we are.. utterly embarrassed.

i cannot do the big eye look you seeee my forehead will have the ugly crinkles sian tiffny eye so big win alr lor

i didn't know what wain my mind when i took those photos ok period. hahahhahah

okay i want to slp soon so i shall blog about zonals today at our sch in detail perhaps tmr or smth (:

anyway we clinched champs for all four sectors! :D really really good results. this year was really weird cause i've never watched zonals as an audience before, and watching lydia's team and yi'an's team do their cases brought back a lot of memories and it was like.. one year ago i was in their place too, fighting for the champs.

but ohwell. my team's done and it's time for the new kids to take over. keep up the good results girls & boys! go nationals and trash everyone and win what my team couldn't. (: really regretful that my team always came in 4th when we work so hard.

OH YA SIR JUNYANG PET ME ON THE HEAD! :D WOOO. so dampening first thing he said to me was "you grew shorter". miss him a lot a lot.

dinner at bluespoon! first time haha and we kept saying jocelyn is LC super funny. yujia was kept busy all the time on the phone with the emogirl from sec 1 who refuses to go home hahaha.

p.s. photos with tiffany always turns out like the above I DON'T KNOW WHY. we were attempting twit style today. we even went one twit's blog and flame her omg we are really boliao but had a lot of fun haha.

mental note: manching's present manching's present

i <3 my squad the best always.
super tired so pictures first

my foodart. haha ain't i talented.

my mr fish & co.



hai it's actually much nicer than this. can't capture the full glory.

my favourite picture from beneath (:

& mr weird THANK YOU FOR PULLING ANOTHER BIQI-INSISTS-ON-HAVING-FISH-COASTER incident ah i was "pleasantly suprised". hahaha.

from the other day:

the bleedy sinful coaster

ahem* dont jealous ah i mean no harm :D

& my sugar sweety pie,
my love hunny darling sweetheart dear cuzzy wuzzy love,
GFY. big-time.
(:

love drawing metaphorical blood. & yes i might be the most vicious woman on the block so?
excited about tmr finally getting my ball

& here, only has place for happy memories.

&you don't have to wait till i tell you everything in the face till you get it; such generosity shouldn't be given at all.
really hoped i was going to be on form today, but really cldn't. was hard enough trying to squeeze in playing 3 games alrdy 'cause our lane had 3 people while most others only had 2.

NONE OF MY GAMES were over 100 can though the last game i'd probably have passed 100 cause by the 9th frame i had 96. unless i had gutter balls or smth. can't wait to get my own ball! i see other people play with their own ball super good. EDWIN ESP omg one of his games ended with a score of 220 (!!!) and it goes strike strike strike (TURKEY ALR OMG) strike spare spare strike strike spare spare. -.-

watched step up 2 the streets. CHASE IS SUPRA HOT HOT HOT :D

in fish & co. sj stole my plate toaster with the fish on it and i was like "eh then me leh" then he shoved me his original plain one. then i was like complaining VERY DISCREETLY & he's the best lor when the waitress came he asked "er she wants to have the coaster with the fish on it" and i was like ?!?! wth the waitress just laughed damn embarassing or what!

okay happy birthday (some belated i knw haha) to: shunjie wenyi elvina manching!

MANCHING if you're reading this & if i'm not lazy enough i might might have a suprise for you. (:

you dig a pit so deep you wonder where the bottom lies. and you jump right in, and you die right there.

i know i'm not making sense, but haha okay whatever.

i want to go climb a mountain RIGHT NOW despite being super tired and reach the peak, camwhore the scenery like siao and shout my lungs out.

like really shout. like

AHH

AHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and then die from the exhaustion

and then i see chase and i go to amercia with him and we live happily ever after.
bowling tmr again. don't really know if it's worth looking forward to.

sian one. that day bowling was totally no mood then everyone got their pretty pretty balls i don't have! only 3 strikes and my finishing position SUCKS can't handshake can't curl at all. ok but nv i making my ball this weekend! :D i want like pearl white with red swirls but the brands all never think of this kind of nice nice colour. LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT SHIT DESIGNS THEY HAVE

jackpot ball-.-


this one i think the bowler will bowl until siao haha

this one is quite cute but spoil the image of bowlers. maybe if i was filthy rich i'd get it.

and i've seen someone with this before!

if the coach is going to bag for one hour like last trng i am going to kill him. MARK MY WORDS.

hope i'm on form tmrw ):
"It is when you woke up as if there is a breath of fresh air circulating throughout your whole body, and feel a rebirth in you- where there's nothing else in life that can make you feel contented but only yourself. And then, you'll feel you realise you got alot of responsibilites to handle and will go ahead and plan. No more feelings of loneliness, no more emptiness that creeps up to you every now and then. These dark dark emotions forces you into desperation- searching for rebounds. Get rid of those."

thanks baby

edit:
IN CASE SOME FAT IDIOT THINKS THE ABOVE IS AN EXCERPT FROM A BOOK IT'S NOT CAN YOU USE YOUR BRAIN?! IF YOU STILL DONT HAVE ONE GROW ONE PLS.

p.s. the idiot name starts with J.
bowling tmr <3

yay
funny how nice it feels to be remembered, and how nice it's like to know that people are thinking of you?

on a bout of whimsical desire i woke up at six in the morning and took a long, long, long jog. haven't done that since the december holidays last year, and damn it felt good. (: feeling the wind run through your body with such ease you wonder if you really existed at all, and the tranquility of the morning, the feeling that you're finally able to breathe.. awesome.

should do it sometime soon again.
the naivety of believing,
causes you to fall twice as hard.

i am seriously fucking tired. oh but teoheng was really good. Larger than life omg and ye lai xiang and joel and kow attempting phantom of the opera with the rest of us shrieking along (:

thank god
milestone of my life today:

I AM A BLOOD DONER! :D


was very proud of the fact that i mustered up the courage to do it even though im super scared of the bloody fat needle. was kind of hoping i won't have like enough iron in my blood so i cldn't donate haha but it wasn't too bad. in fact i felt perfectly ok & quite happy even after i donated my blood. then the anesthesia started wearing off bit by bit the wound hurt a little. actly seeing my blood flow out of my body was like.. weird. haha you knw? like im not injured but i'm theoretically bleeding and yet it doesn't hurt.

so i thought wah eh not bad ah my body quite fit leh not nauseous or anything at all.

then on the train home white spots started appearing and i suddenly felt so weak my legs were going to give way. -.-my body was breaking out in cold sweat and just felt super giddy. lucky i sat down soon enough to rest haha was really damn scared smth worse will happen.. & lucky i was with tiffny.

my body failed me HAI. so disappointing.

im gng to rest for a bit
join me in this cheer.

i say (your name) you say BITCH

(your name)

BITCH!

(your name)

BITCH.
find another girl that's sillier than me.
god i really dont think i can study outside.

i've been.. very distracted at work, in school. fyi the lit essay test totally killed me (i only wrote one sentence for the conclusion ha ha) and math test was equally bad. can't concentrate at all and school's going to squash me flat anytime soon.

really can't wait for the march holidays to come. finally a break from all this shit.