MLZH

so vivid of you

get out of my mind

out, out, out
A'DIV BOWLING IS FINALLY OVER!

bowled w the TJC boys today and I HATE SAJC/ACJC. they're so good it makes you mad. NVM NEXT YEAR WE'D BE AS GOOD YOU ALL JUST WAIT LOR!

avg 120 today. actually it's quite amazing if you think about it over the course of the whole competition we had to throw the ball like 360+ times and we actually survived! last game i cld have gotten 140 easily if not for my stupid wasted frame after two consecutive strikes. i wasn't even getting complacent i really wanted to get turkey somemore! ): in the end i think i spent too much time prepping myself for the throw and i only hit 2 pins -.- I SUCK i keep wasting my SPARES ALSO!

after competition ended all the people were crowding around the scoreboards to check out the results and i just sat on the chair 'cause honestly i couldn't care less and in the end i just asked edwin to check for me. like so what if i knew my placing it isn't that important either.

had normal training after the comp at ssc. already damn tired but just kept going. now the only thing i want is to improve faster and faster and faster, i won't let my body fail me, i won't.

okay so good job my team and boys' team too! :D 2009 a'div we will own.

watched me as i left, and you never took your eyes away. never.
ML ML ML ML ML my god i think i.. shit this can't be it. not so soon, not so fast.

Super shagged. Played another three games at safra yishun after the competition. it was then that i felt my arms were really going to be come detached from my torso any moment.

Avg 110 today, wasn't the best, but i felt rather happy when i played. attribute that to the constant high fives and tens we give each other when we closed our frames, or the fist-touching (whatever you call that) when we missed, not just within our team, but with the boys from YJC. or maybe it's 'cause we had three supporters chenying wynne and wanting god i love you guys for taking the time to come down and see us play it was crazy to come down so early. (: and of course to june sebas and jerome for coming just when we finished the competition! -.- it's okay i still appreciate you guys a lot a lot kay though i didn't say. & those who msged early in the morning to wish us luck: thanks thanks.

it's always nice having support.

tmrw's the last run, the final lap. my arms really ache like crazy and my thumbs hurts from supporting the ball. keep telling myself not to let fatigue/pain get to me, and telling myself not to cry even when i performed badly, because it doesn't make defeat any less bitter, and it doesn't make the next throw any much easier.

i wished there was people watching us play; not to see how good we are but to let them know they can't judge us only by our placing, by our results, and what i really want everyone to see is our effort. it's hard enough being a fresh team that only trained for a few months whereas others did for years. and i know how hard it is to live with performing badly and getting the feeling you're letting the whole team down, and the way amanda cried today when coach scolded her for playing badly really made my heart ache.

we don't deserve any of that, and the only thing we do deserve is a pat on the back.

we go team, we go.

did my hair just now :D super happy it's the first time i walked out from a salon feeling damn good. i think i shall stick to my stylist hahaha. total damage today amounted to quite a lot burnt a huge hole in my pockets but it's worth it afterall i didn't cut my hair for like 5/6 months okay.

yes i give myself ample reason to spend money.

common tests coming in about two weeks and i am still fretting over comp i should really slap myself. alright but like two more days and it'd be over go i'm gonna try and give it my all. thighs please get well soon! ): the sickness bug is like getting to me slowly i think i'm in the midst of developing a flu and a cough! I HATE HAVING COUGHS ZZZZZZ.

i'm still very lazy to upload photos from last night.
guitar concert timepiece: childhood last night at dbs auditorium.

more people than i thought turned up, mostly year 5s. I think the guitar club's really good man it's like only a few months for the year 5s but they were really good already (: when jocelyn came out and sang i teared! haha i also don't know why but like i'm so proud of her and her voice is so so nice.

great job guys :D <3 to jocelyn samuel and hongsheng

on the way back to tanjong pagar mrt we started cheering the st john cheers we haven't did in months. (seemed like years to me) and it's so great! miss our trainings together ):

pictures later i'm rushing off soon. i don't even wanna talk about the training ytd afternoon it's too depressing -.- cldn't concentrate cause of the stupid sprain/strain (WHATEVER OK!) and kept having gutter balls.

YES IM GIVING UP ON BOWLING AND I CAN DIE TMR THANKS.

byebye. time to update my other space a bit.

that was the only time i saw you in your entirety

i'm beginning to really think my avg of 130 of a'div singles but nothing but pure luck. I mean, seriously. that's like tyco get super high but my usual average is only like 110 at most 120.

okay i am only depressing myself. found out after PE today i really sprained my thigh (yeah sounds damn ridiculous like the thigh out of all places?) but YES and now i dont know what to do. So much for being a st john member for 4 years huh.

watched the junior's first parade today. can't help but feel that the standard has dropped, and brought back a lot of memories from the 4 years we were a squad together.

okay training again tmr i realy hope i'm on form.

we must all remember why we're fighting.
then it'd be worth it, no matter what.

PLAYED A'DIV DOUBLES TODAY

i was on form and got the champs tgth with kailin and trashed everyone else and got 250 average hahaha i am so happy..

YOU WISH.

avg of 103 today. numbers are distinctly similar to 130, my singles avg, but very different. very disappointed in myself ): under-performed and cld have done much better and my performance got to me so much i teared AHHHH sucks so in the end me and kailin got 31st placing out of the 64 pairs. coach says it's very good already cause afterall we only played for like 15 sessions and the rest played for years, but it's not that such a viable excuse for me my spare rates were super low i mostly had open frames ):

quite happy with my singles/individual results though got 71st out of 128 female bowlers. :D

okay shall get over brooding over my stupid lousy shit performance today and work harder on saturday's training. if i don't do well for team i will really. kill. myself.

and my left leg is really getting damn dysfunctional; today no matter how much i stretched and pulled and whatever it hurts so much when i bend it so i end up with a sharp pain in my leg each time i do the finishing position. -.- think i strained some tendon or some shit i don't know.

AIYAH! PI SUCKS okay.

this photo abit dreamy ah


this is what she does to me everyday w/o fail -.-



biqi has wonderful and strong arms thank you



and short fingers also thank you
my brother's birthday! :D

hope you get a girlfriend soon bro :DDDD
a'div singles.

played the best i cld, and now i think i exhausted all my leg and arm muscles esp my left shoulder i dont know why it aches so damn much and my stupid leg keeps having cramps for no reason. broke my personal best with 155 for4th game, avg for 6 games of 130.

dunman had no supporters at all. oh well

those of you who msged to drop a word of encouragement, thank you (: really really appreciate it esp xinhui and wanting who bothered to call & people i totally didn't expect to even knw there was a competition haha.

my thumb is starting to become deformed already got extra bump that my left thumb doesn't have.

whatever it is. don't want to think too much, really super tired.

doubles on thursday ): no time to rest.

stop whining
we'd only have to work harder

the question is: do we even really want to know?


A DIV TMR! :D

only hope i'd give my best, and the rest too.

fingers crossed fingers crossed fingers crossed
YES i do realise my blog revolves around how incredibly tired i am and how close my a div is getting. BUT I DONT CARE OKAY at least not now when my a div is drawing so near.

yes so assuming i have gotten your full unstanding i shall go on again about how tiring training yesterday was (:D) & i credit that tiredness to the stupid 2.4 km run we had in the morning. Don't understand why they just can't take our first timing during our mock run esp when most of us got As. the run took all the strength out of me.

didn't even manage to play 6 games yesterday during training though we bowled for arnd 4 hrs! wonder how we're all going to survive the six games during singles 'cause we've never played six games in a row before. & it's funny now how all of us are literally preparing for ourselves to get hurt and so we're arming ourselves with skin patches and plasters and power puffs and skin conditioning powder and tapes omg countless haha.

wonder if all this effort will pay off in the end? but it's true we can only go into the competition and do our best since it's the only thing we can give, and when we lose i guess if any of us ever cries it can be only over the fact we haven't done our best.

thanks for the support frm those of you who gave it (: really appreciated and yes we'd have to keep telling ourselves:

KEEP GOING!
累到要死
okay as sian as i'm feeling now over the stupid research paper i just PIAK PIAK! wake myself up and gear up cause i've got SIX straight games in a row for bowling tmrw /: that's throwing the balls 120 times. don't know if i sld be looking forward to it? actually i am but i'm just scared i can't perform.

sigh guess everyone's going nuts huh. boys won soccer today against acjc 1-0! :D FIRST VICTORY! nvm we all can make it jiayou you girls for volleyball tmrw! A DIV GO!

aiyah shit haha i feel so weird being in a sports cca and being in a div and having leave forms for school for bowling competition. guess i'm too used to being in uniform grp. makes me feel at home. (:

okay wake up biqi! you are not going to die



good music makes good remedy.

school is a murderer. slowly killing us off one by one. feel so damn tired in school. i know i probably can't finish the literature paper by sunday but i've got no good reason to ask for an extension either. ): HOW

A DIV in 6 days i am srsly damn damn damn scared. how much can i train in 6 days la?! so now i don't even care about the econs test no mood to study.

okay damn moody now fuch yeah i actually meant fuck the whole world

should be going. another time


can you understand can you understand

can you really understand?
so tired!

played around three games today. first was okay, second was really bad and i had like 4 consecutive gutter balls and total score was arnd 80 only. ): really very depressing cause coach came over and told me i wasn't concentrating and this shouldn't be happening yada yada and only made me feel worse. competition so close somemore..and i am super smart i anyhow do finishing position and ended up slamming the ball on my leg. T.T

this's the 800th post. should be smth special, isn't it. but no mood. to think i was laughing my stomach off during dinner -.- i don't know why i can't stop laughing during dinner, and over the smallest things too. i kept almost choking over my dessert and everytime i cover my face when i laugh they'd go "oh my we've lost biqi" hahahahaha. but siao really super funny can all the stories and the 'EW!' and keith's roadrunner 'beepbeep' and kt's "MEOW' ohmygod i think i'm going to laugh again.

i really should go be like some siao char bor laughing ambassador.

i guess it's like they all said
one in a million, and nothing more than that
leisurepark bowling! my gosh the lanes there are fantastic when we shift back to dhs proper next year we can always go there to bowl y'knw DAMN EXCITING.

i should have totally went to the bowl shop there to get my ball -.- the balls there are much, much better! ): never mind shall get my reactive from there in the futureee. ordered my red trolley as well :D no more fear for uneven shoulders!


(:

kow ended with a spare and a strike!
we all must jiayou~

got one super gd bowler beside our lane his seventh frame was already like 205? -.- hats off

WOO bowling again tmr!

leona lewis makes good, good music.
currently listening to rihanna's take a bow & god i can't stop putting it on replay

don't die on me
we all gotta pull through
against the odds, you understand?


deleted my last post cause it spoilt the much self-appreciated consistency of my blog posts being in small black georgias.

I AM DAMN SIAN OF EVERYTHING

i think i shall go sch tmr and go be a walking corpse.
i think of a lot of things everyday and decide to do a lot but i never put anything into action.

today i walk until i want to die. walk from orchard to outram. walk until my heels dug into my skin like a knife. i shall never wear heels to shop again.

read through the lit research paper details. i want to kill myself how am i going to submit a good paper?

shall train again tmr god i better do well

i want to throw my phone away
i want to sleep till i wake up and it's 2010

i ran till i ran out of breath
till my legs gave way
& this shouldn't be happening
the reason no longer holds
so what,
what am i fighting for

//
BOWLING A DIV DETAILS OUT

kay haha shadn't keep harping on it lest i make myself more worried than i already am - trying v hard to concentrate properly during trainings so i can have good games. singles in 11 days & thing is i can't believe we're ALL going for singles and doubles and quartets.


today super good game lor wanye me and kailing all had double strikes within five frames leh! :D

alright but coach said we can't go in with the mentality of losing just cause we are "late bloomers" so i figured we might just have slight, slight, chance of winning.

singles coming omg 6 games each?! i think i will dieee

be thankful for every single difficulty thrown your way, for every person you've met, & treasure them cause you won't know when they might slip away.


school makes me sick in the guts every morning i wake up. weekends are such a lovelies to look forward to but it comes and go, comes and go.

literature research paper coming up tmr -.- god i really don't want to do that. next wk don't need to sleep alrdy esp thursday night

passed my math test, like first in the year.

can you tell i'm very sian haha

if i cld prove to you
exhausted ):

people who think bowling is slack pls go kill yourself you can go and try. sometimes it's not that much of the physical exhaustion but the mental. the amt of concentration is.. don't know how to say la. i'm still grappling with where exactly my perfect alignment spot is i always alternate between 15, 17 and 20 boards. -.-

okay point is i am still duper lousy. training 2 more times this week pls let me buck up!

AND DID I MENTION I HATE ECONS PPT HUH KNS

funny how i can feel the most blessed sitting on the bus eating a bun
the next moment someone might offer me the world, but it isn't enough, it isn't

god i sound crazed isn't it. hahaha maybe i am since i sprained my back i think.
OWWWW

another day
<3 Creed, One Last Breath

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
Maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

COMPETITION IN END APRIL!

really scary and this time it feels so different from st john comps cause we're at least like 80% confident we'd win but this time it's really like 0.0000001% winning chance. ah well but like coach said we're going for the experience and exposure so we'd just have to keep that in mind.

last com train was really bad i kept muscling my ball and didn't give free swings most of the time -.- crazy i think i'm on form on like alternate weeks. & i really can't play when the coach's looking at me while standing in betwn the lanes! get super stressed and confirm gutter. hahaha. okay nvm shall see my performance tmr! quite excited.

i can do it, right
uneventful.

we're all struggling to breathe
even the water's getting harder to tread
with all this crashing over my head

i do know what you've said, and let's just say: i do agree, wholeheartedly, but you don't know how much i wish it wasn't true.

sometimes the truth gets a little too painful to bear, huh.
why are we such wimps when it comes to things like these?

glad you're still alive, and even better.

//
goody goody goody good

bowling yesterday night was good :D though i still can't spin the ball -.- all damn straight but ahh my first game i finally passed 100 you knw! last frame quite good somemore strike, six, spare!

dinner was also damn funny & gd the whole time kow was talking about like 2h and yigeng. when we took kt's car home 6 of us squeezed at the back with all our bags in the boot and IT WAS DAMN SQUEEZY valentia was like sitting on my lap and derek was sitting on keith's lap and i kept laughing cause its damn funny derek's body is like a boat super duper duperzzzz long then he was like pushing keith backward cause he was bending so horribly his back was jutting out at keith's face and taking up super a lot of space while attempting to close the car door. (p.s. i just re-read my description and laughed my head off am i crazy?)

okay if i am like going to carry the bowling bag three times a week (for the whole april), and UNFORTUNATE FACT IS I AM, then my shoulder is going to break. damn heavy pls! SIGH ytd reached home and when i bathed i realised there's alrdy a nice nice stamp mark of the bag strap on my right shoulder and the whole part was red & sore. -.-

freezing yesterday afternoon was nicely done haha i'm sure the juniors suspected smth la the girls were all like shrieking our heads off cause we cldn't think of what to do? at first supposed to like hold hands and surround one junior but we figured that was bad and so many year 5s missed the event -.- but it was still good! kept shaking when i froze cause i was like looking at samson and his junior was tekaning him to make him laugh but he kept a straight face leh so powerful! then sherm was like saying "biqi i gng to cramp alr" cause we're freezing for quite long make me want to laugh all the more. aft the music started going again all of us unfroze and did three cheers WOOO.

we're all gonna get spanked (maybe literally even T.T) by pauline ann tan tmr if we dont bring the tempest so everybody rmb to bring ok! i am going to fail my econs test. i am going to sleep only after i utd everything tonight. I AM SO DEAD

and so many of us need this now so : JIAYOU!
boat reach the bridge head naturally straight hahaha.