I never expected to be this unhappy, and to think I was the one who pushed myself into this abyss. I won't even try to articulate how I feel, because with every word, with every thought, I shake more, I think more, I cry more, I die a little more inside. This is not supposed to do this to me. It's not supposed to make me feel smaller. It's not supposed to reduce me to this mess I can't recognize. For once, I pray fervently that the walls I've built around myself would just protect me. Protect me from this storm, this tornado that is sweeping away every ounce of strength I have.

















Impromptu breakfast @ Privé this morning. This dude texted me at 6am and we discussed plans for 10.30am. Insane or? Only had two hours sleep. And today will be a super long day/night.

Anyway, this gem of a cafe was well-tucked into an obscure part of Harbourfront. We walked across the boardwalk, and paid for entry into sentosa, before realizing its bloody far so we took a cab, told him the address and he drove out of sentosa, right back to where we were before. Fuck?! Hahaha. Turns out google maps on my phone was a misleading bitch.

Anyhow, this place does live up to its gorgeous name. I thought the breakfast was going to be ridiculously expensive, but it's actually pretty affordable. Where the food wasn't that awesome, their view made up for it. Great place to chill and talk the afternoon away. Thanks for the treat! : )



Explored a less visited Kampong Glam today! We've gotten so used to the glitzy lure of shopping malls it's always a little more exciting to visit these forgotten parts of Singapore.




So close, 6 more hours and it's all over!

I cannot wait.
In the midst of these bimbospeak, I would like to take the opportunity to celebrate the life of Dominique. The last time I saw him was at Sherm's 21st party. It feels surreal to even remember seeing him then, knowing well now that he exists someplace else. I do not know him personally, some of my friends do, but his unfortunate death has brought the reality of loss much closer to me than anything else. While we mourn the passing of a man who died too young, I have realized several other things. Many left messages on his Facebook wall over the past few days. It is so incredibly heartwarming to see all those emotions, people describing what they miss about him and how he has made a difference in their lives. What makes me sad is the thought that he might have left this world without knowing that all these people loved him for the many different things.

It is so regretful that people don't let their loved ones know how they feel about them when they are living well. Why is it only in time of loss, we pull up every single dreg of memory we can find - photos, messages, posts - evidence that they were once very much alive, just like you and I, evidence that they were just a phonecall away. All coping mechanisms.

I wished we lived in a society where people express love to their friends and family all the time. Why can't we deal with fifty other people telling us "I love you"? Why is it that friends can't say that to the opposite gender and not come across as having feelings deeper than friendship? We're not used to an over the top display of affection from anyone other than your boyfriend or girlfriend. It shouldn't be this way, because all of our hearts is big enough to love so many people at the same time. We are stingy with our emotions and love because we think it can only be for one person. But that's not true. It doesn't cost us more to love others the same. Nor does loving others diminish how much we love our boy/girlfriends. We only stop loving when we know that our love no longer makes a difference.

This is my wednesday, instagrammed. I'd admit I gave myself I deserving break (wholly self proclaimed) for an evening out for tea and a spot of shopping. Or shall we say, just head-butting into fitting rooms to take pictures, and not actually buy anything? I'm sorry, but it is what the two of us always do ;p x














I AM DYING.

In the midst of studying for finals, I happened to chance upon a youtuber's beauty channel and I want to buy so many things because she looks great in all of them!! :p

Curler on the left, waving wand on the right

Mint green polishes. I've already headed to smoochiezz to cart some out. Who can resist, so pretty. xxx


On another note, all my cosmetics are finishing up at the same time! I'm left with 1/5 for my lancome teint miracle, and my most precious baby, diorshow 360. MY MUST HAVE!! It has the best formula out of all the mascaras I've tried, and it works to give the kind of non-clumpy, defined lashes really well. My only gripe? It costs nearly $70, which is a stretch. I can buy about 4 Maybelline mascaras with that price tag. A big part of the $70 goes towards their electronic rotating wand, hence the "360". The silly thing is, I don't turn on the switch for the wand to rotate when I use it. To me, that function is absolutely useless! I have much better control when I'm just using my hands.

That day, when I wore it to school for my presentation, my friend asked if I was wearing mascara, to which I replied yes. When she said wow it looks really natural, a part of me died inside and I'm like fuck, I must rebuy this!! I'm trying to use the mascara sparingly now, only for certain days when I feel like it's more worth it to wear out. I simply must grab another one soon.


Yes, I've finished blabbering. I'm sorry but I just had to get this out, I'm sure all you folks understand xx


So the semester is coming to an end! I cannot wait till exams are over, I get to party a little bit and then its off to the internship. Love dressing up for work, wearing heels and lunching or dinnering with friends / colleagues :)

I sometimes get calls from media people I used to work with and I find it quite embarrassing to tell them that I'm no longer working there, it just sounds like I got fired.. Haha but I'm really glad at the same time that these folks still remember me!

The thing about working is, you never have to come home and still deal with work. Granted, there's actually a lot of instances where I had to stay later to accompany some shoots or filming but once I'm off work, I get to go eat, drink, laze around at home. Reply the occasional work related on my berry (man I do miss typing on that thing, it was so awesome), but never did I have to pore over scholastic journals, dissect ridiculously complicated statistical tables or compile and edit never ending reports. Or prepare for presentations, talk to myself in my room and let my neighbors be the unwilling audience. Perhaps its just being in business school.. SO. MANY. PRESENTATIONS.

Its time like these, when I'm up at 5am in the morning, I ask myself "Really? Why the fuck am I still awake?" You know the kind of fatigue, where your head starts getting really giddy and it literally hurts to stay awake? That's exactly how I'm feeling right now.

My only motivation is.. all will end tomorrow, Friday 4.30pm!! I will be SO happy. Glad our french oral is over, preparing for that thing was a bitch. We actually got into a seminar room to practise at 2pm, and babbled to each other in french for 4 hours before heading to our tutorial room. It was insane!

I really want to blog more, but my world has started spinning, and dream world is beckoning.. Good morning you x

You've been really good to me (so far). I'm pretty sure I haven't gained that much good karma, but you've taken care of me anyway. The thing is, this month is really a pain in the ass. I've got tons of exams, tests, reports and presentations coming up, and the amount of sleep I've lost over them is quantifiable. Yet, amazingly enough, you've emerged and given me so much love despite all this stress.

Please keep it coming.



Yesterday, I held my breath. And you know what, I survived. And had multiple made my day moments. Just proves a little faith can never be too much, and that you.. might really be history. x
Not with words or action, but with perspective and attitude.

Its the only thing left to do.
Chanced upon this amazing video done by Minsk Belarus, a russian timelapse photographer. In my work at MBS I had many opportunities to meet with photogs who did timelapse videos.. and it looks incredible on film but the hard work behind it often goes unnoticed.

So it made me appreciate this video more, but anybody would still be blown away by this footage. I liked the MBS scenes the best (esp the ending scene with projections on ArtScience Museum) and the night CBD ones. Enjoy! x