Larger than life
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
I itch to be thrown in uncertainty, doubt shrouding every inch of my body.
Please
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Don't look at me with that sparkle in your eye, dancing with words unsaid and fueling desire.
Don't hold my hands when no one is looking, idle fingers tracing my skin and putting a little spring in my step.
Don't reveal how much you know, uncovering my secrets and surprising with your uncanny ability to read the mind I no longer recognize as mine.
Don't stay up for me just to pull me into your embrace, your blanket fortress.
Because if and when you do, I fall easily, and when that happens I fall harder than I'd like.
Thursday, January 08, 2015
For too long, we've shut ourselves off to pain because we fear it. Because we know it will devour us, inside out, till we hollow, till we are left with a shell. We build walls, fortresses, and cocoon our frail hearts and scared minds. To protect ourselves. Since young we know to run from danger, to shy from strangers, to compartmentalize pain and suffering. Hush baby, hush.
But why? Let pain break you down so you can pick yourself up. Let pain show you how tenacious you are, because I have a feeling we all are braver and stronger than we think. One day you will share the pain, tears streaming from your face, body shaking with memories of the past. You will choke on words you struggle to find. But someone will hold you close, and someone will soothe you. Someone will fall in love with your pain.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Cause you see, thats why he wins.
Sometimes perseverance does pay off.
Annoyers
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Dude
dropped me a message "Eh y change your name again". For the sake of
my sanity, I just deleted the message. I know you, but who the fuck are you to
come demand an answer? If we were close I’d tell you and probably even explain
my various name changes, or my entire ancestry if you’d like and am that bored
but dude… who the fuck. Are you.
While we’re
on the topic of annoying people and things, let me compile a short list of the
things that annoy me. I’ve actually been meaning to do this post for a long
time but never got down to it. Here goes.
People
that either walk slowly, or stand in the middle of nowhere. Or shove me out of
nowhere.
My
patience is incredibly short nowadays. It could be because everything in
Raffles is so fast paced and people here walk abnormally fast, but now I get
super annoyed if anyone blocks my way while snail walking. I’m 25, don’t have
that much longer to live and not that much time on my hands to trail behind
you. And if I’m in 4-inch heels and can walk faster than you, you better make
haste or I will light a firecracker in your ass. Well.. metaphorically. In
reality, I will just make a very loud tsk sound like an uncivilized auntie. Siam!
For the
latter group, it usually comes from aunties who make it their perennial aim to
get a seat, AND also be the first to get off the train/bus. Your behaviour
confuses the shit of my mind. So do you want the seat, or do you want your foot
out the door first? Because you can’t have both. I will make sure of that by
wedging myself in between your kiasu mind and the door. And I will act like I
have no idea why you so urgently need to dash out that bus or train. Probably
to go queue to get free 2 ply tissues.
Perfume
drenchers.
Question.
Who do you intend to suffocate with the perfume? Too much of a good thing
becomes a bad thing, assuming you even make good perfume selections. Case in
point: there’s a lady on my floor that undergoes a fucking dramatic change day to
night. In the day she’s conservatively dressed, minimal makeup (but doesn’t
stop her from preening in front of any semi-reflective surface). Come 7pm, she
hauls all her barang barang to the toilet and spends a good 45 minutes throwing
on the skankiest clothes and drowning herself in a musky perfume. Drowning
might be an understatement. Twice I entered the toilet while she was in the
thick of her skanksformation and felt like I was gassed by her perfume. Gassed.
I made it a point to cough loudly and wave my hands in front of my nose in
disgust. Perfume in moderation is sexy because I associate perfume with closeness.
Something you catch a whiff of as you lean in for conversation. Stop abusing
perfume and choking others in the process.
Cowards
So it was
difficult to choose a word that fully encapsulates my point while being succinct.
I don’t mean cowards per se. More loosely I’m referring to people that beat around
the bush, introverts that hide behind your mask of shyness, people who don’t
seem to know what the fuck they want. I’m been going on to my friends about
this stalker in Raffles that just randomly approaches girls and on some occasions,
ask them if they “could be friends”. In my time here, which isn’t long, I’ve
been approached by him about ten times. I already rejected him when he did ask
me the first time, and after that he either ambushes me or walks over then he
sees me in a very determined way. So you’d expect that persistence to be
equalled by some persuasive speech, yea? “Please give me your number../Would
you reconsider?”/any other bad lines you can think of cause I’m obviously not
too good at this. But no. He just slides beside you when you’re walking, and
looks at you very expectantly while walking in tandem with you. How fucking
creepy is that? Are you expecting to see me gooey eyed or do you expect me to shoot
rainbows out of my eyes? I’m just super glad my building needs card access or I’d
call the guards on him. He’s made me jump out of my skin on more than one
occasion when he just stealthily ambushed me. I even fear for my safety
sometimes. Fuck you. If you can’t even muster the courage to speak to girls,
don’t approach them? You’d more likely to be branded a creep than for us to
ever consider saying yes.
Salespeople
I’d get to the point here, cause it seems like
they could never. When I shake my head at your advances, or if I bother to open
my mouth and cook up an excuse, it means no. Get it, and move on to your next
target. Don’t tell me shit like “I’m not selling anything” because THAT DOESN’T
MAKE ME ANY MORE INTERESTED. What you’re selling or not selling has nothing to
do with me. I’d rather observe a snail than listen to what you have to say. And
don’t look so maligned when you say you’re not selling anything, because you
should know that your approach or pitch is unsolicited and I have every right
to refuse. Don’t tell me you didn’t know you have to face rejection, and don’t
make even try to make me feel guilty for not stopping to speak with you. Learn
how to handle it graciously. A few weeks ago, I met an insurance seller at an
interchange who asked if I bought any plans. I said no, will be meeting a
friend’s friend to discuss soon. Just to swat him away. But at what I said, he
scoffed and asked “So.. you rather trust a friend’s friend?” Than who, you????
Have you got it in your thick skull that you are a complete stranger? And a
fucking pompous one at that. So why the hell should I trust you more?
Okay,
this wasn’t short at all. Will unleash the remaining of my wrath another day.
