Let's stop trying to think we can change each other. This better version of ourselves does not come so easy.

Our ritual.. has lost its meaning. I know you still value it but words have become so empty. We have become so silent, so passive.

Our determined faces, furious fingers, supressed giggles, triumphant expressions, easy companionship.. I might miss you.





Its been a month into Jan and I've hardly updated mainly because I'm going crazy with schoolwork. And FYP. Gosh FYP is driving me crazy, we havent done much and the deadline is in march!!!!!! But schoolwork is always crazy, but difference is this time I'm really spending much more time on work cause I need/want to do well for the remaining two sems to pull up my gpa.

I've also been into checking out new restaurants lately, most memorable out of those I've visited are private affairs and lvl 33.. Amazing places in terms of ambiance and view (for lvl 33), prices not so amazing but is still reasonable. And I've got a really insane carpaccio craving recently?? Compare to two years ago when I refused to touch raw meat cause I thought it was gross, now I love it so much. People change. I changed!! Hoping to also check out a new restaurant that my friend opened, but haven't really got the opportunity to. And I need to meet with my mbs friends, I miss em so much xxx SCH IS SUCH A BORE!!

My cuzzie is cming over for CNY this yr since we're not going back, more company is always welcome, we finish our visiting so fast when we're in sg hahaha. I do want to go back for cny though, the atmosphere there is always so much more lively with all the firecrackers and just massive amts of people. Its so extreme, cny in sg and cny in msia.. And I'm missing the good food there already!!!!!
I LOVE THIS PLACE, so completely pretty and good dimsumzzz I wanna go back again!


I'm already late, but its time for those corny end of year reflection posts again.

This was a frightening year of school after a six month break. Many times I told mbs folks "I so much rather be working there w y'all" and that eventually came true when I joined the museum dept in summer for my second internship. I did have second thoughts about joining the same company again, but I loved the place so much I couldn't resist. I'm glad I did though, because the museum team I worked with is and will probably be the best team I cld have asked for. Getting to know some amazing people aside - this team was the sweetest, and for the first time, I felt like we were truly a family. Suffice to say our days were literally filled with laughter, I don't think there was a day I went to work and left grumpy b/c of them. Our debates about how eggs should be drunk, doing manicures in the office, frightening each other in the museum corridors.. I now miss them so so much. I honestly don't think I'd find another family like em in the workplace ever again. Its also one of the reasons why I feel so strongly about rejoining them after graduation.

Something I remember especially vividly and is particularly impressed with, is how amazingly boundaries were managed in the museum. Bosses were close to their subordinates, but respect isn't lost, and neither is propriety. I was an intern there but I never felt like one. I was never delegated the "dirty" jobs because I was the lowest on the rung. In fact, my colleagues felt bad whenever I had to do little things like walk all the way to the hotel lobby to switch our harry potter TVs on, even though I would volunteer to do them. I was never denied access from anything, and spoke to the bosses freely. I remember this once, during a press conference in the museum, Nick (the director of the museum) had just gotten down from the stage after an interview and was standing next to me. Him being the highest on the ladder in the museum and myself being on the other extreme end, I was obviously a little intimidated. Nevertheless, I smiled at him and asked "How's it going?" to which he replied "Oh man, I am so tired. Interviews wear me out. All I want to do now is go home and change into a fresh set of clothes, and come back for the after party later. What about you?" For a moment, his honesty and candidness surprised me. It wasn't what I was expecting, but I liked it. When I came clean to Minn (my boss) one day about how I love the family dynamics in the museum and went through a rather different experience in comms, he told me that how the leaders in an office lead and works trickles down to the rest of the team. I thought back, and realized his words were incredibly true.

I cannot speak enough about how the internships have moulded and shaped my thinking, and how much I've grown in my time there. When they thank me for being great intern, I helplessly try to tell them: No, I'm the lucky one, and there is nothing more I cld have asked for from you guys. I feel like I've aged so much (mentally), and right now I'm bursting with the desire to work instead of study.

In terms of relationships, the year hasn't had much drama for me, which I am always thankful for. In the earlier part of the year I did something (on a drunken stupor, no less) - but a pat on the back because if I never did it, I would have never been able to move on without feeling this gaping hole in my heart. Other incidents, like a mistake one night and bam, red hot embarrassment as the colleagues learn about it soon after .. Too shameful to speak of. "Why are you still single?!" Probably the question I get asked the most. My heart has barely swayed for anyone this year. Don't people realize that it isn't about how many people are trying to win your heart? If they aren't right for you, its equivalent to having none at all. Ratios don't increase the chances by sheer numbers. Love isn't numbers and math. I don't want to get attached because I'm trying to make a statement, to show people I've moved on, or just because other people are attached too. I want it to be for the right reasons and I haven't met someone who has given me the right reasons. Or rather, I have, but I met them at the wrong time. I'd start worrying if I'm not attached by say, 27/28 and am in perennial danger of being left on the shelf - but till then, I give myself the freedom to stand by my principles and be choosy. I think we all deserve that.

Friends. They come and go, and the few people I want to stay close to, have been. Recently I felt like I lost a friend, a friend that I thought we had mutual understanding, but have disappointed. For a few days I kept trying to find my fault - I keep trying to put aside ego because I value the friendship more - but I think I was just used and now I feel quite silly. I can be your sanctuary, but I'm definitely not just a sanctuary. You're turning into somebody I don't like. If you come running to me only when you're lonely and have no options left, then I'm sorry - our friendship has become so nominal, and I opt out.

Apologies b/c this post ends on a slightly bitter note, but I promise, the year has treated me well. These are just the little spikes amidst the bed of roses.

Cheers. To 2013, to the end of studying, to my graduation trip, to stepping into the corporate world at long last. Vicious backstabbing, office politics, the endless rat race - I'm ready for it all.



Did this lil vid when I was bored on car rides and trips, I actly took a lot of different vids throughout the bkk trip but had to cut.. 80% of em hahaha. Just smthg to rmb this trip by. Enjoy xx

BKK from WBQ on Vimeo.